This is written as an ode to life after trauma, and the beauty, abundance and change Post Traumatic Growth can give.
If someone told me, a few years back, that all these pain and all these grief will finally have its space of calm and surrender, I would have said, “I don’t know.”
If someone told me, a few years back, that this sadness will carry on a different shape- contained, collected, kept, I would have said, “I don’t think so.”
If someone told me a few years back that this anxiety will give way to creation, to redesign, to evolution, I would have said, “who are you kidding?”
If someone told me, a few years back, that this uncertainty that filled me up so immensely and got me stuck, will make me move, make me take my steps, make me follow my path, I would have laughed my head off.
If someone told me, a few years back, that all that I have experienced, all that held me back, all that kept my body frail will stir me into my full my expression, I would have said, “No way!.”
Yet here I am now, a few years after, standing in my own strengths, filling my own cup and fulfilling my own purpose.
Yet here I am now, a few years after, capable of giving space, of reconnecting with myself and those I love, and making myself visible.
Yet here I am now, a few years after, reminiscing of the years that passed, the grief I felt and the uncertainty I faced. Remembering, that as I experienced a turmoil that kept me to my knees, it also kept me fierce. It also kept me fervent. It also kept me faithful.
Here I am now, a few years after, coming to terms that the pain I felt showed me beauty in myself that I never knew existed.
Here I am now, a few years after, grateful of the life that I am afforded, appreciative of the people that I connect and earnest in my self-fullness.